Chapter 1

When the last stop of our trip around the world was over, money was tight, so my brother suggested we draw lots to decide how each of us would get home.

On the first draw, my best friend drew the train, but my brother, Ethan Sinclair, accidentally knocked over the cup of lots and insisted on a redo.

On the second draw, she drew the ship, and then my childhood sweetheart, Julian Prescott, somehow lost one of the sticks, so we started over again.

It wasn't until the third try that she finally got exactly what she wanted: a first-class plane ticket. And me? I drew walking.

I looked at the result and calmly started packing.

After a year of traveling with them, I had long since gotten used to the fact that my luck was terrible.

But right before I went to say goodbye, I heard my best friend, Molly Lane, speaking in a guilty voice:

"Ethan, is it really okay for us to cheat like this? What if something happens to Jenna on the way?"

My brother's answer was flat, as if this were nothing out of the ordinary:

"Don't worry. After all these years, she's definitely used to it by now."

Julian chimed in beside him:

"You're not like her. Your health isn't good, and you can't handle a rough, bumpy trip."

"A little extra walking will just be exercise for her."

The moment their words fell, my tears fell too, without a sound.

I suddenly remembered how, before we set out on this trip, my brother had pointed toward the setting sun and told me:

"I'm going to give the best little sister in the world one grand graduation trip."

Julian had even held my hand, looked at me with gentle eyes, and confessed:

"When the trip is over, I want to marry you."

Yet in just one short year of travel, those promises had scattered all over the world.

Since I had never been the only one on this trip around the world, my future didn't need you in it either.

1.

I pushed open the door, looked at them calmly, and told them to give me back my passport.

My brother pushed my outstretched hand aside and handed me a music festival ticket instead.

"Molly wants to experience a music festival abroad, so we're staying one more day. Don't be late."

Julian carefully draped a jacket over Molly's shoulders.

"By the time we got to your ticket, there weren't any seats together left, so you'll have to sit by yourself."

I clutched the ticket, a bitter ache in my chest.

"Isn't money supposed to be tight? How can we afford tickets?"

Julian gave my forehead an affectionate flick.

"That's exactly why. After we bought the tickets, we ran short on money."

"I don't like music festivals. Sell my ticket, and I can pick a cheaper way to get home."

"Jenna, do you have to make everyone miserable? We came here to travel. What's the point if we don't even see the things we want to see?"

My brother wore a "here we go again" look, and he slammed the door on his way out, impatient and angry.

Molly hurried to smooth things over.

"Jenna, come with me, pleeease. When we get back, I'll have your brother give you your passport."

I raised my eyes and stared at her, remembering that Provence, the place I had wanted to go most, had ended up being a trip for the three of them.

Back then, I couldn't find my passport anywhere. They said plane tickets were expensive, so they went ahead first.

They used the itinerary I had carefully put together to visit every place I'd wanted to see.

Alone in a hotel in a foreign country, I anxiously searched every inch of the place.

On the last day of the planned Provence leg, my brother suddenly told me my passport was in his bag.

I rushed over. It was a local tour guide who brought me my passport, and by then they were already packing up at the hotel.

The moment I landed, I was dragged off to another city.

After that, my brother held onto my passport, saying he was afraid I'd leave it lying around again.

I looked at Molly quietly.

"If I go to the festival, you'll have my brother give my passport back?"

Molly smiled and nodded.

"Then I'll go."

My brother suddenly came back, took my phone, and transferred the rest of my money away.

"Jenna, you'll be walking home later anyway. The walk to the festival is good practice to get you used to it."

"Yeah, and you can use the time to think over how you just refused. Traveling with someone like you is a real buzzkill."

I held back the pain in my chest and managed a smile.

Molly suddenly sighed with regret.

"Jenna, tomorrow we're planning to go to that place famous for its insanely spicy food. You probably won't make it in time to eat there. Such a shame."

I couldn't handle even a little spice, and they all knew it.

"It's fine. I can't eat spicy food anyway."

Ethan clicked his tongue.

"Jenna Sinclair, coming on this trip with you was the worst decision I've ever made. You make it sound like we picked a restaurant you can't eat at on purpose."

"Jenna, that really hurts. How could we not remember you can't eat spicy food?"

Julian looked utterly heartbroken.

A year ago, they would order non-spicy dishes specially for me, then add their own dipping sauces.

Now they only ordered the spicy dishes Molly liked and told me that if I couldn't eat, I should go back to the hotel and not ruin their fun.

Molly, as if trying to smooth things over, asked the two of them to help her pick out an outfit that would look good in photos tomorrow.

I blinked my stinging, sore eyes and looked down at a new message.

One line swam before my blurry eyes:

[Please think again about coming to France to be my PhD student. You have real talent.]

Before, I had wanted to stay in the country with my brother and my boyfriend. Now there was no need for that anymore.