Chapter 1

At our Thanksgiving get-together, my best friend Vanessa suggested we play a game. It was an either-or game. No sitting on the fence, no dodging the question.

My three childhood friends took turns putting my boyfriend, Carter, on the spot.

"Who do you like more, Vanessa or Lauren?"

"Vanessa."

My fingers dug into my palms.

"Who would you rather sleep with, Vanessa or Lauren?"

"Vanessa."

He didn't even pause.

They all burst out laughing, trading knowing looks.

My nails sank into my flesh until blood welled up.

I was about to tell them to stop when someone asked the next question.

"Your wedding is at the end of the month. Who's the bride, Vanessa or Lauren?"

Carter squeezed my hand, looking guilty. Then he glanced at Vanessa, as if he couldn't decide what to do.

And just like that, everything became clear.

Friendship or love.

I needed to walk away before I lost anything else.

I stood up, and before Carter could say a word, I answered for him.

"Vanessa."

The laughter died instantly.

——

Vanessa was on her feet in seconds. She took my hand and gave it an eager squeeze.

"Lauren, Carter and I, it really was just that one time."

"One time and you hit the jackpot! Vanessa, that's some serious baby-making luck." Wesley roared with laughter and raised his glass to toast her.

Carter shot me a guilty look, then quickly looked elsewhere.

He wouldn't look at me, but he still took Vanessa's side.

"There's a baby growing inside Vanessa. Anyone with a shred of humanity would give that little thing a chance to be born."

My fingertips curled into my palms.

I wanted to rest a hand on my belly, but I let it drop.

I'd come here planning to tell Carter our good news today.

What a shame for this baby.

In the end, this baby was never meant to have Carter as a father.

"Lauren, you were the one who offered to give up the bride's spot. You gave the bride's spot to Vanessa, so don't try to take it back now."

Spencer held out a contract.

"Sign it. That way, you can't change your mind later. Sign it, and then you can leave."

The paper's edge sliced into my palm.

I'd barely glanced down at the page when Jordan snatched it away.

The sharp edge bit even deeper into my already wounded hand.

Blood dripped down, drop after drop.

"Come on, I'll just read it to you. Clause one: you can't try to take the bride's place from Vanessa. The wedding dress you spent over two years designing yourself, the diamond ring, everything, you agree to hand over to her, willingly and without complaint."

"Clause two: as for the real marriage certificate, the two of them have already gotten married officially. If you're really that jealous, Carter can humor you and go abroad with you to get a fake one that means nothing."

"Clause three: you'll be the bridesmaid, and from now on you'll help Vanessa raise the kid. They still hadn't had enough of each other. So if you're staying by Carter's side, you can't spend your whole life being a burden. You'd better make yourself useful for once—"

"Enough."

I cut him off coldly.

"Lauren, please don't be angry, okay? You're scaring me."

Vanessa gave a frightened little flinch before scurrying behind the four men.

They stood shoulder to shoulder, forming a solid wall between her and me, as if I were some monster they needed to keep at bay.

Once, they had stood behind me. They'd been the ones who made me feel invincible.

"Don't be scared, Lauren. With us around, never let anyone walk all over you."

"If anyone gives you trouble, you go at them. Don't hold back. Otherwise, what are we even here for?"

They had always stood up for me.

And I had gone to the principal again and again to beg for them, in tears, on my knees. I’d rather have the disciplinary action on my own record than let a single black mark tarnish theirs.

Now, those memories felt like a dream. Like none of it had ever happened.

My nails dug deeper into my palms.

And suddenly I didn't want anything anymore.

I only wanted to get out, to get as far away as possible from this place where I could barely breathe.