Chapter 1

Chapter 1

YSABELLE

I hastily walk back and forth at the doorway, waiting for my husband to come home. His phone was turned off and his secretary said that Ronan left the company before sunset.

Worries delved into me that it was already midnight, but still, he hadn't returned home.

The food is already cold and I'm starving but I don't have an appetite because my anxiety grew as time passed by.

What if something bad happened to him?

The ring on my finger suddenly fell on the floor. I immediately picked it up before it went too far.

I let out a devastating sigh while I was removing the dirt from the ring. The ring might have come off easily because I lost too much weight.

I heard a crash from a distance that distracted me. I ran towards the gate and saw Ronan’s car crashing at the steel gate.

I hope he's alright!

“A-Are you okay?” I worriedly asked as he got out of the car, staggering.

The crash didn't cause much damage, though.

He ignored my presence as he walked past me. Since he didn't like being touched by me, I followed him behind, making sure he could go to his room without injury.

“It's late. Where were you?” I questioned.

“None of your business.”

“Ronan, I'm still your wife. I should know what you have been up to–”

“In papers, so don't act like a real one.” He coldly spoke out.

A pain flashed inside my chest.

Almost two years… we've been married for almost two years without love. I mean… one-sided love.

He's not attracted to me but I do.

He doesn't love me but I do.

Having a normal conversation with him is impossible and it's always been like that.

When we reached his room, he tripped but I immediately helped him until he laid down on his bed with a grunt.

I was about to get away from him but he suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist, causing me to fall into his chest.

This is the first time I feel his warmth.

Heat gushed in my cheeks and my heart pounded wildly as I tried to unwrap his arms but Ronan started to devour my mouth.

My eyes widened in shock as he kissed me aggressively. His lips were soft and warm. I can even taste the strong liquor from his mouth, causing me to feel intoxicated too.

I closed my eyes as he laid me down on the bed and started taking off my shirt.

I just let him.

I just let him claim me.

If this is what makes him happy… I will give my soul to him. That's what I promised him when I said ‘I do’.

***

I woke up, feeling sore all over my body. My neck, my back, my arm, and my thigh were all in pain, especially in between them. I groaned as I moved on the bed.

I scanned my surroundings, and my eyes stopped at the handsome face of Ronan beside me.

Butterflies in my stomach went wild as my heart fluttered at what we did last night.

I stared at his frowning face. Even when he's sleeping, he's still wearing a frown. I smiled at the fact that even though he was frowning, he was still handsome.

I touch the frown in between his brows and massage them slowly, enough not to wake him up. He hates being touched by me, and if he finds out that I'm sleeping next to him, on his bed, he will be fuming in madness again.

But what if he won't? He initiated the sex last night, so… maybe, he will look at me differently from now on.

I'm not sure if I should be pleased about it because something deep inside of me was cut in pain because of how he treated me as his wife during our almost two years of marriage.

But I still love him.

I've been loving him since grade school. He's always been my first love, and I don't know why I still feel the same, even though it's obvious that he hates me the most.

My finger stops when I remember something.

Right, it's our second wedding anniversary today. I should do something to make him feel better.

I carefully got down from the bed but before I could, Ronan took hold of my arm.

I braced myself with the thought he was awake, but instead, I heard him saying a name.

“Candice…”

I frown and look back at him.

His eyes were shut. He's sleep talking, but the name he said… Candice.

Who the hell is Candice?

Pain starts to build up in my chest again upon hearing him saying the name of another woman while being with me. It's probably a woman's name.

When will he fully accept me as his wife? I've been hoping that he will look at me with loving eyes and a genuine smile on his face but… it's pretty impossible.

I slowly pulled my arm from his loosened grip and took my clothes on the floor. But something caught my eyes on the floor, under his black coat.

A paper…

My heart was pounding frantically when I took a step closer to read what was written in the upper part of the paper.

DNA Test Report?

Chapter 2

YSABELLE

I am in the bathtub in my room, naked and feeling lost, to wash away the events that had saddened my soul.

My heart and whole body were crushed by the numbness I experienced last night.

I choked back my tears and ran my fingers, devastatingly, through my hair.

Candice and the DNA test report.

What could that mean?

I didn't let my curiosity kill the cats. I only saw the upper part of the paper. I'm afraid to see whose DNA test results those papers belong to.

But I should not overthink unless he will open up about it first.

As I bit my lower lip and gazed at my frail figure, my heart ached. I stared at the gray bruises on my thigh, particularly on my wrists. He had just eaten me up last night. My entire body was covered in evidence.

I never would have imagined letting him do this to me. I was consumed with my feelings and let him do whatever made him happy.

Is love always like this? Is loving someone as painful as this?

Unbidden tears welled up in my eyes.

Why is it so painful to realize the truth that he couldn't reciprocate my feelings?

I knelt with my face down and wept in silence. I hope something will change a bit in our marriage.

After taking a shower that took me almost an hour, even though I couldn't move properly because of the pain down there, I still decided to head downstairs to prepare something for our breakfast, but Ronan had already left for work.

I sigh in dismay. But don't worry, there's still dinner later to celebrate our second anniversary. I hope today won't be the same as what happened on our first anniversary last year when he didn't come home and didn't even greet me.

“Where do you think are you going?”

I stopped midway in the stairs as I met the raging eyes of my mother-in-law.

She rarely visits the house, and I'm always nervous whenever she comes over because she never treated me as her daughter-in-law. More on like a babysitter and maid of Ronan.

“Good morning Mother–”

“Are you slacking off? You dared to go out and have fun by spending my son's money? You're nothing but a pest in our life!” I flinch when she shouts at my face.

I'm used to it.

The way she looks down on me as if I'm the biggest pest who entered in their life. Those painful and insulting words… I'm used to hearing all of that.

I cleared my throat as I lowered my bag on the couch. “I'm only doing grocery, Mother–”

“Don't give me that excuse! Are you really treating my son well? Why is the house so dirty?”

Dirty? The maids have already finished cleaning the house.

“Mother–”

“What are you still doing? Start cleaning the house now! What a useless wife!”

I bit my lower lip because having her here would be a nightmare for me.

I don't have any choice but to obey my mother-in-law. I took the vacuum but she said it was a waste of electricity, so she gave me a mop.

I sigh as I stare at the mop.

“What are you still waiting for? Christmas? Move and clean the freakin house!”

She pushed me hard enough for me to fall on the floor because my legs were still weak from the aftereffects of last night.

“You're not only an idiot but also weak. Stop acting like you're Cinderella. This is not a fairytale woman.” She snickered and kicked the mop on my feet.

I do really feel like I'm Cinderella. But I don't think my prince charming will save me.

My eyes welled up in tears as I stood up, groaning in pain. Before I thought I was too pathetic right now, I started mopping the floor but her presence made me uncomfortable.

“What a useless woman. You should at least give my son a child. But here you are, robbing my son.”

I glanced at her and saw her reading the list of the goods I was supposed to buy. She wrinkled the paper and threw it at me.

“Ronan deserves another woman who can fill the role of his wife and I believe that's not you. I don't know why my husband chose you over anyone else. Did you also seduce my husband?”

I don't know why she loves insulting me and accusing me of something indecent. But I endured everything and remained silent because I respected her as my elder.

“You gold digger.”

She left the living room with a smirk on her face.

My eyes welled up in tears but I brushed it off immediately and continued mopping the floor.

She keeps saying that I should bear a child because that's my role as a woman and wife. But how can I do that alone?

She keeps blaming me for this marriage and thinks it's a huge mistake that I'm his son's wife.

Enough thinking, Belle. It will only cause me a heartache.

I just focus on cleaning the house so that I can finish early.

***

I was groaning in pain all over my body as I slouched on the couch. The house was now squeaky clean.

My mother-in-law tortured me the whole day. I'm grateful that she didn't stay for dinner. She didn't even invite me for lunch earlier, and that's why my stomach has been complaining about anything since this lunch.

I feel like I'm going to collapse but I always remembered that all of my sacrifices were for Ronan. Thinking about him made all the tiredness suddenly disappear.

“Why is life so hard–”

My heart sank when I caught a glance at an empty wall where we were supposed to hang our wedding picture. But Ronan doesn't want to see all of those pictures.

‘For what? Are we that happily married couple, Belle? Have you already forgotten how I was forced to marry you just to get what belongs to me? Do you want to display those pictures? To make me face the nightmare you caused me that day?’

It was not like that, of course.

I didn't argue with him, but I couldn't help but be saddened. That is the only picture of us together. So I have it in my wallet for keeps. That's my happiest moment, marrying the person I love, but for him, it was a nightmare.

I glance at the window if it's getting dark, but my eyes widen that it's already dark outside.

Fudge!

I immediately dash to the kitchen and cook anything I can find in the fridge to make things faster. As I was about to wash the meat, the faucet broke.

I tried to fix it, but it got worse. The water overflowed from the basin and any moment now, it will come out to the dining area.

While panicking and not knowing what to do, I was suddenly surprised when a voice spoke behind me.

It was Ronan's rage-filled voice.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

With a tight lip, my fingers fidgeted at my soaked clothes as my mind went blank, and didn't know what to say.

“You should have called someone to fix that, are you that dumb?!” He shouted again. “Can you just fucking stop troubling me?! You did nothing but make my head hurt! Why can't you just be gone out of my life?”

My heart pinched a million times.

It's okay… I'm used to his harsh words. I'm used to hearing those from him.

“WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE?”

But his next words made my world shattered.

Chapter 3

YSABELLE

‘WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE?’

Those words crushed my heart and soul. It was beyond painful. It was as if a big car passed over my whole body again and again due to the extreme pain I was feeling. But I didn't say anything and tried to smile.

I forced myself to stand even though my whole body was going limp from his painful words.

Was that what Ronan really wished for me? I don't know anymore. I wanted to think that he was just tired from work, and then I added to his headache.

He only stared at me. Rage was evident through his eyes until he looked away himself.

I immediately left the kitchen until I reached the gate, walking under the full moon alone but not knowing where I was really going.

I wanted to cry from the pain inside, but no tears came out of my eyes. As if they are also scared to be noticed by anyone and think I'm too pitiful by crying alone while bracing for the pain.

And this is the painful cry of all. I can not express the pain I'm feeling through tears. By the end, I'm crying inside, shattered, and broken. By holding it in my heart, it was so damn heavy to feel, yet I don't know how to let the heaviness go.

I sat on the swing while gazing at the fewer children playing around. But then, I caught a glance of a woman and man who just arrived, carrying a child in a man's arms.

They look happy, and I believe they are in a happy marriage.

I suddenly felt envious.

I thought after our first night… he would change and treat me nicer.

But why do I feel that he didn't even remember that he claimed me that night?

Was giving in to his needs a huge mistake?

My breath trembles as I remember his raging voice echoed in every corner of the room earlier.

He wished me to die so that I could finally leave him alone. But I swore that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Tears slowly fell from my eyes. These painful tears have been killing me inside all those years I've been with him.

I'm not crying because of those painful words, but because for every hurtful word that Ronan said, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Because I knew from the start, it was only a one-sided love.

This marriage was forced.

We did not tie the knot because we wished to be with each other.

Ronan’s father was the only reason why we were married. My father served his family with loyalty. When our father lost their life because of the car accident, it was in his father's will to marry me and he would inherit all the assets that his father had left.

I gave up college and my dream to become a housewife. It’s my mother-in-law’s wish to make me focus on taking care of Ronan. Well, being the wife of Ronan is one of my dreams too. But I didn't expect it would turn out like this.

This one-sided feeling was killing me inside.

***

Days have passed, and Ronan continued giving me a cold treatment. Well, it's always been like that. He's always been cold to me throughout our marriage.

But today is no different day. It's his birthday and tomorrow is mine. Yes, We almost have the same birthday, but I'm still glad that we are only a second apart.

Last year, he was in Paris for a business meeting. I was hoping he would celebrate his special day with me.

I spent my whole day helping the servants in cleaning the house and garden. Before dinner came, I made sure to grocery and cook Ronan's favorite food for dinner.

I was about to leave the grocery mall when I spotted a cake shop.

How can I forget the cake?

I was torn between chocolate and strawberry cake. I'm allergic to strawberries, but it's Ronan’s favorite. In the end, I bought the strawberry cake.

I became busy preparing our dinner and cooking my husband's favorite foods.

After cooking, I prepared the table as if we were in an expensive restaurant. It was so beautiful and elegant to look at. The vibe feels like I'm on a date.

Ronan and I never dated. We never hang out together outside the house. But it didn't matter to me.

I waited for Ronan to come home but it was almost 10 pm. I keep glancing at my wristwatch and at the gate while waiting for him at the front door.

I'm hesitant to call him because I never did before. He never likes me calling him and asking where he is. He will get mad if I ever do that. I don't want him to be mad at me every night.

What if something bad happened to him?

I immediately brushed off those thoughts in my head. I shouldn't be thinking like that.

My phone suddenly went off. Damn, I forgot to charge it. I rushed upstairs to look for my charger but I couldn't find it. Instead, I look for Ronan's charger in his room.

I know he will be mad that I touched his stuff, but I will leave when he arrives.

However, as soon as I opened the cabinet, I saw the familiar unopened gifts.

He didn't even touch it.

Those were my gifts from last year. My gifts for our wedding anniversary, his birthday, Christmas, and New Year. I bought those gifts, but Ronan didn't make any effort to open any of them.

A pain flashed through my chest, so I immediately closed the cabinet. I was about to leave the room because I couldn't find any charger when something caught my attention. I came to the edge of the bed and took it.

“Fortieth Company Anniversary?”

It's an invitation card.

Ronan was invited to an exclusive party, and it seems he needed this invitation card to get in.

Even though Ronan was known for being the most powerful in the business industry, few people knew I was his wife. Mother-in-law doesn't want to publish my face all over the world, that I'm Belle Volkov, Ronan’s wife, just because of my background.

I shoved those sad thoughts in my head and immediately dressed up. As I arrived at the venue, I saw him standing near the door with a blond woman. She's clinging to his arm like a lover of Ronan wearing a smile on both faces.

Ronan is smiling. He looks happy while exchanging words with the woman.

I couldn't remember the last time I saw him smiling like that.

A familiar pain surrounded my heart again as I continued staring at them both, looking so loved by each other. It's painful to look at them, but I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

Is she Candice?

When Ronan met my eyes, I turned around and was about to leave. I hailed a cab but someone suddenly held my arm.