Chapter 4

Those three hundred dollars didn't fix the real problem, but at least they got her through to the SATs.

The weather cooperated during the testing days. It was neither cold nor hot, and there was even a little rain.

When I walked out of the testing center after the last section, English, the sky seemed especially blue, the clouds especially white, and even the air tasted sweet. I thought the hard days were finally almost over. As long as we both got into college, everything would get better.

I found Rose in the crowd at the school gate. She was wearing that faded floral dress, washed almost white, and standing under a big willow tree, smiling at me. There was a sad beauty in that smile that I didn't understand back then.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"Not bad. I think I can get into one of the top schools in the state," I said confidently. Back then, I thought the future was full of hope. "You?"

"Not bad either." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and a complicated look I didn't understand flickered in her eyes. "Grant, let's go for a walk by the river."

There was a river at the edge of town called the Clearwater, and it was our favorite place to go as students.

The sun was setting, and the surface of the river shimmered, flecks of golden light dancing on the water.

We walked side by side without saying a word. The only sound was dry twigs snapping under our feet.

After a long while, she suddenly stopped, pulled a small red cloth bundle out of her book bag, and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I stared at it.

"Insoles my mom sewed for me. There's... something inside." She kept her head down, not daring to look at me, her voice as light as the breeze. "Grant, I'm leaving."

"Leaving? Where to?" A sense of foreboding welled up inside me, and my smile froze on my face.

"My uncle's down south. He's a construction foreman, and he has some connections at an electronics factory there. With the way things are at home now, we can't afford to put two kids through college. My little brother's still young, and my mom still needs her medicine..." She bit her lip, her voice growing quieter and quieter until it broke into a sob. "I'm going to go work in the factories down south. I've thought it over. School doesn't do a girl much good anyway. Earning money early to support the family is what really matters."

"You're not going to college? With grades like yours? Didn't we agree we'd go to the state capital together?" Frantic, I grabbed her by the shoulders. "We can figure out the money! I can apply for student loans, I can do work-study! If worse comes to worst, I won't go either. I'll go work with you! I'm a guy, I'm strong!"

"What are you talking about!" She shoved me away. It was the first time she had ever lost her temper with me, her eyes wide and round. "Grant, you're the one in our class with the most promise! You're the one who's going to fly out of here! If you throw away your future because of me, I'll hate you for the rest of my life! What happened to my dad already ruined me. I won't let it ruin you too!"

She took a deep breath and forced the red bundle into my arms. "Your three hundred dollars is in there, plus a little travel money my mom gave me. I won't need it. The factory covers room and board. Take it and go to college. Once you're in the big city, don't scrimp on food. Take care of yourself. Don't let anyone look down on people from a poor place like ours."

"I don't want it! I gave you that money, so it's yours! I can't take your money!"

"Listen to me!" she cut me off, her eyes suddenly as steady as a rock. "Grant, remember this. I'm not asking you to pay me back. I'm only asking you for one thing. If you really make something of yourself someday, don't forget that back in this poor little place, there was a silly girl named Rose who once hoped good things for you. Go see the world out there for me, and make something of your life!"

With that, she turned and ran.

The setting sun stretched her shadow long, so long, like a gulf that could never be crossed.

I wanted to chase her, but my legs felt as heavy as lead, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't take a single step. All I could do was stand there helplessly and watch her figure disappear at the far end of the willow grove.

I never imagined that parting would last eighteen years.