Chapter 3

My boss had me eat dinner in his office.

The food was healthy, filling, and actually delicious.

After pumping milk once more, I clocked out and went home.

I had to hide my bank card first.

I was afraid my husband would find out.

I wanted to divorce him.

But not yet. The timing was not right.

I needed to get through probation first and make sure I had a steady income.

That money from my boss was my safety net.

And I needed to wait until my daughter was old enough for daycare.

But honestly, the thought of daycare still made me nervous.

And I had no one else to help me watch her.

So for the time being, I was trapped.

When I got home, my mother-in-law just dumped the baby on me and headed out to a bar.

My husband was just sitting there, glued to a game on his phone.

He did not make much money either, yet I had been pathetic enough to hope he'd help out with babysitting.

But every time I asked him to do anything, he always found an excuse to wiggle out of it.

Before the pregnancy, he had been the perfect, devoted husband.

He had done everything—the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry.

He had promised to treat me like a queen.

But as soon as I was pregnant, the mask slipped.

He stopped doing housework, stopped giving me money, and kept saying we needed to save money.

If I’d seen his true colors back then, I wouldn't have looked at him twice.

I was in the room, breastfeeding the baby.

Looking around that cramped, messy rental apartment, I felt so lonely and hopeless. I couldn't stand the thought of my daughter living like that.

At night, Lily slept between us.

My husband started pawing at my pants.

He used to be so affectionate, making me feel cherished.

But at that time I felt like I was just a hole to him. A tool for his release.

There was no foreplay, no nothing.

I told him no.

He snapped, "It’s been long enough since the baby was born. You’re fine to have sex now."

We struggled, and I landed a sharp slap across his face.

He slapped me right back.

In the dark, we just stared at each other in silence.

He started ripping at my clothes again.

I grabbed my phone and smashed it right against his head.

He flicked the light on and screamed at me, "Cyrus! What the hell is wrong with you?!'

His eyes were wild. I froze, paralyzed by his rage.

The baby woke up and started wailing.

I pulled her close, trying to quiet her down.

That just made him angrier. He gave me a hard shove, and before I could react, I hit the floor with the baby in my arms.

Luckily, I hit the ground first and held her up so she wouldn't get hurt.

My mother-in-law burst into the room.

Without a word, she rushed over and slapped me. "You worthless bitch! How dare you talk back to my son? Who the hell do you think you are?

I could not fight back at all.

The baby was terrified and crying even harder.

My husband just stood there, coldly watching his mother beat me.

After she was done, she snarled at me, "You better serve my son right, or I'll make your life a living hell. Who do you think you are? A useless second-hand bitch. Just suck it up, shut your mouth, and serve my son!

Then she turned to my husband and said: 'A woman only learns to behave when you rough her up. You treated her way too well, and it made her forget who's in charge here.'

He said: 'I get it, mom. Take the baby out.'

She reached for the baby.

I knew exactly what he was planning to do.

It wasn't the first time he had forced himself on me.

He had even told me: 'Are you a nun or something? We're married. I can do whatever I want to you, and the cops won't do a damn thing!'