Chapter 1

The third time my husband walks into a hotel room and finds another man in my bed, I don't scramble for my clothes.

I don't try to explain.

"Claire. This is the third incident."

Vanessa Shaw steps through the door ahead of him, a folder tucked under her arm.

"You signed a prenup, Claire. Ethan intends to enforce it. These papers give him custody of Noah."

His lawyer.

His closest friend.

The woman I have to ask permission to see my own son.

Ethan throws a copy of the papers onto the bed.

"The first time, you said you didn't know the guy."

I look at the man lying beside me.

He's still asleep.

"The second time, you said you had no idea how you got to the hotel."

A dull ache sits behind my eyes. The last thing I remember clearly is the drink someone handed me downstairs.

I remembered a drink last time, too.

"Three times, Claire." Ethan's voice rises. "What's your excuse now?"

I pull the sheet higher over my chest.

Vanessa offers me a pen.

I take it.

For a moment, neither of them moves.

Then I turn to the pages she has marked and sign my name.

Claire Bennett.

Vanessa takes the papers before the ink has dried.

"She's signed."

Ethan keeps looking at me.

I know what he expected.

The first time, I followed him through the house begging him to listen. The second time, I cried so hard I couldn't finish a sentence.

Please. You know me.

Think about Noah.

Just look at what happened.

This time, I put the cap back on the pen.

"I'll collect my things tomorrow. As for seeing Noah—"

"You don't deserve to be his mother."

I look up.

Ethan's face is hard.

"You're not coming near him."

Something in my chest tightens.

It still hurts.

I wish it didn't.

"I wasn't going to ask you for another supervised visit."

He frowns.

For four years, he and Noah have been my whole life.

I used to lie awake wondering why my son called for Aunt Vanessa before he called for me.

Now Ethan looks at me as though I've answered a question he didn't know he was asking.

"So that's it. You've found someone else, and you're walking away from your own kid."

I say nothing.

"What was all that about wanting a family, then? You got pregnant, you got the wedding, and now you're bored?"

The first time this happened, I woke up to shouting.

A man I'd never seen before was standing near the door. By the time Ethan reached the room, he was gone.

All the hotel footage showed was his back.

Ethan eventually said he would give me another chance.

Then he took Noah to Vanessa's house.

He told me it was temporary.

After that, I saw my son once a month. I had to arrange it with Vanessa a week ahead of time.

She stayed for every visit.

If Noah let me hold him, she checked her watch.

If I bought him a toy, she decided whether he could have it.

I found a job because I needed something to do besides wait.

The second hotel incident happened on a work trip.

I called the police myself. I went to the emergency room. I gave them everything I could remember.

Ethan said that only proved I knew how guilty I looked.

Afterward, he stopped telling me about preschool events.

When Noah called me a bad woman, he stood there and let him.

Now he's asking how I can give up so easily.

I look at the folder in Vanessa's hands.

He has spent more than a year teaching me that I don't get a say.

He should be pleased I've finally stopped asking.