Chapter 1

My best friend, Chloe Bennett, has a so-called anxiety disorder,

so the rule in our five-person group chat was that we could only talk about one thing at a time.

Otherwise, she'd get a headache.

In the fifth year of our relationship, my family was on me to get married again.

I'd only just posted one line in the group chat.

[What do I do? My mom's on me to get married again.]

My boyfriend messaged me privately right away.

[Unsend that, now!]

[We'll get to your thing after we're done talking about Chlo's birthday.]

[Your family nags you every year. What's the big deal?]

Our two childhood friends messaged me privately too.

[Sadie, mind the group chat rules.]

[Break them one more time and we're kicking you out.]

With no other choice, I unsent it and swallowed the rest of what I'd meant to say.

Chloe, meanwhile, was whining cutely in the group chat.

[This is all Sades's fault. Now I'm all mixed up.]

Ryan was quick to soothe her.

[I'll pick it back up for you. Tent camping tomorrow, and you get to choose the spot.]

The two guys crowded in too.

[And bring the salted caramel nut tarts.]

[Sadie, make extra. Chlo loves them.]

Reading it, I suddenly found the name "the Fab Five" ridiculous.

All these years, the group chat rules had only ever applied to me.

When my tooth hurt and I asked who'd recommend a good dentist, Chloe said, "Same question here, who's a good dermatologist for sunburn?"

Hundreds of messages about skincare followed.

When I asked for help because I couldn't handle a client, Chloe said, "Go read 100 Questions About the Workplace."

After that, it was nothing but book talk.

I muted the group chat, and I never got to say that if I didn't bring Ryan home tomorrow, I'd be set up on a blind date.

Instead, I replied to my mom.

"Go ahead and set up the blind date."

...

That evening, Ryan came to pick me up from work.

The moment he saw me, he shoved a list into my hands.

"Seven desserts total. Make a few extra salted caramel nut tarts. Four or five of each of the others is fine."

Every item on the list came with careful notes.

[Go light on the sugar in the mousse, Chlo doesn't like things too sweet. Don't grind the nuts for the tart too fine, Chlo likes the crunch.]

I read down the list line by line. The pecan pie bars I loved weren't on it.

He remembered every little detail of Chloe's taste, but not what I liked.

I casually sent Ryan a link to a bakery.

"Just order from here. They can deliver tonight."

Ryan stopped short, then gave a disbelieving laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You were doing just fine with it before, weren't you?"

"Okay, get in the car. We still have to go buy ingredients."

I didn't move.

Every time we got together, they'd hang out chatting, singing, and watching movies, and leave me alone to make the desserts.

When the desserts hit the table, Chloe would take one bite and start her critique.

"It's overbaked. You can't set the oven that high."

"I've told you so many times, the cream has to be freshly whipped."

By the time I was done with everything, there'd be only a few cookies left on the table.

I tore the list into tiny pieces.

"It's not my job."

Ryan's hand froze on the car door.

"Can you not be such a buzzkill?"

"Chlo's twenty-nine. After this birthday, she'll be thirty. How many more times will we get to party carefree like this?"

But Ryan and I were already thirty.

When we first got together, we'd just graduated.

He swore he'd open an outdoor adventure club and take me to every place where you could see the stars.

He'd marry me by twenty-five and have a son and a daughter by thirty.

Eight years flew by. The club opened, but the wedding kept getting pushed back again and again.

I looked up at him and spoke seriously.

"Ryan, are you coming home with me tomorrow to talk about the wedding or not?"

His face darkened, and his voice rose sharply.

"Sadie, I'm talking to you about Chlo's birthday."

"Why are you dragging marriage into it again?"

A wind blew in from the street corner and stung my eyes dry.

I stood there frozen, hollow inside, unable to name what I felt.

Countless times, Chloe had cut me off in the group chat, and when I complained about how unfair it was, he always said,

"I'm a jock. I'm straightforward. I don't think about stuff like that."

Now that it was about Chloe, he suddenly seemed to understand everything.

The only thing that stayed the same was that I was always the one told to stop and be reasonable.

I couldn't help laughing at how absurd it was.

"In the group chat, I have no right to interrupt Chloe. And now, alone with my own boyfriend, I still have to follow the rules?"

"Ryan, who exactly is your girlfriend?"

The words had barely left my mouth when the car door opened. Chloe was sitting in the passenger seat.

Her lips curled in a smug smile.

"Sades, you're way too desperate to get married. You manage to drag marriage into everything."

Jake and Hayden sat in the back seat, laughing mockingly.

"If you're that desperate, just go home and have your mom set you up on a blind date."

"Meet tomorrow, wedding the day after. Only thing is, if you want it that fast, you'll have to marry some loser."

Their laughter jabbed at my ears like steel needles.

They'd grown up with me. They'd watched me get called the kid with no dad when I was little,

and they knew I wanted a whole family more than anyone.

Ryan was like me. He'd grown up without a father too.

Because we understood each other in a way others couldn't, we ended up together. That was why I'd backed his dream of opening the club without holding anything back, and introduced my two childhood friends to him as help.

Back then, we had nothing, but we shared the same goal: to settle down and build our lives as soon as we could.

Later, Chloe came to Denver to stay with me. The four of us became five, our old goal was tossed aside, and I became the one everyone made fun of.

I swept my gaze over all of them and said, word by word,

"You're right. I do want to get married."

Ryan's face stiffened slightly.

"Sades, everyone's just joking. Why are you taking it so seriously?"

"After Chlo's birthday, we'll go back home right away and have the wedding. Okay?"

Just as he finished, I got a message from my blind date.

[First blind date. You pick the place.]

I casually sent him a location pin.

It was the place where Ryan had promised we'd shoot our wedding video.

If he wouldn't go with me, someone else would.

I shook my head at Ryan.

"You all enjoy your birthday party. I've got a blind date to go to."