Chapter 1

After my husband gives away our tenth child to his mistress, I marry his childless godfather.

I give Damien St. Clair nine babies. Every single one of them disappears before their first birthday.

Nine kids. Nine empty cribs. Nine times he kneels in front of me, swearing he'll find them. Nine times I shatter into pieces and have to glue myself back together.

By the seventh, I stop eating. By the eighth, I stop sleeping. By the ninth, I'm popping three different pills just to keep myself from losing my mind completely.

But Damien never leaves. Every panic attack at 3 a.m., every time I scratch my own arms bloody because the pain has nowhere else to go, he's right there.

Red eyes, shaky voice, holding me so tight like if he lets go, I'll fall apart for good.

"We'll try again," he whispers. "I'll love you forever."

And I believe him. God help me, I believe every word. I let him back into my bed. I get pregnant for the tenth time.

When that baby turns one, I show up at his private lounge to surprise him.

That's when I hear everything.

His boys are drinking, laughing, kicked back on leather couches like kings.

And Damien is standing right in the middle of them, handing MY child to some woman I've never seen before in my life.

One of his buddies smacks his shoulder. "Bro, your wife's basically a baby factory. You're living the dream."

Another one cracks up. "Dude's out here gifting whole ass kids to his side chicks. A car, a condo, AND a baby? Instant mom, zero labor pain. What girl says no to that?"

Damien laughs, lights a cigarette, blows smoke at the ceiling.

"Come on, they're young girls," he says, like it's nothing. "You think I'm gonna let pregnancy wreck their bodies? Nah. Leave the heavy lifting to the specialist."

The whole room roars.

And me? I'm standing right outside that door. Six months pregnant. Ice cold from head to toe.

......

His newest fling, Sophia Mercer, is holding my baby. She looks down at the little face and scrunches up her nose.

"Ugh, another girl? I already have one of those."

She tugs on Damien's sleeve, full pout mode. "Babe, I want a new one. Something different. I don't do hand-me-downs."

Damien wraps his arm around her, all smiles, all warmth. "Whatever you want. I'll have her make as many as you need."

The baby starts squirming, fussing in Sophia's arms. Sophia pinches the kid when no one's looking. The baby screams. Sophia slaps a hand over her mouth.

"Shut up," she snaps.

My heart stops.

My nails dig so deep into my palms there's blood running down my fingers. I can't feel it. My whole body is shaking.

Sophia keeps whining. "A whole year before I even get her? Obviously she doesn't know me. Next time, I want one fresh out of the delivery room."

Damien tips his head down, smiling at her like she hung the moon. "Babe, babies under one are a nightmare. Let Claire deal with all that mess. Why would I let you suffer through it?"

He leans in close to her ear. "If I ever saw a single wrinkle on you, I'd lose my mind."

Sophia giggles and slaps his chest playfully.

One of his friends shifts in his seat. "But real talk, man... your wife keeps having these kids, and they keep vanishing on her. Isn't she gonna snap at some point?"

Damien goes quiet for half a second. Then shrugs.

"She pops 'em out easy. Giving away a few, what's the big deal? Worst case, I settle down in a couple years, let her keep a few. Call it even."

The room gets louder. Filthier. One guy actually says he wants me to have a baby for HIM so he can bring a grandkid home to his parents.

Damien laughs and nods. Every single request, he agrees to. Like he's passing out party favors.

My legs give out. My brain goes blank.

I press both hands against my belly and run.