I Let Poor Student Sell Snakes; Class Panicked

A poor student claimed to be a backwoods venom-charmer from a remote backcountry village. To help lift her hometown out of poverty, she sold backcountry charm-snakes in the dorm, swearing these snakes could recognize and protect their owners. My boyfriend, to show his support for the poor student, bought over a hundred of the charm-snakes all at once and handed them out to the whole class. Because my mother is a snakebite specialist, I recognized at a glance that every one of these snakes was highly venomous, so I called 911 outright, and the firefighters carried the snakes away.