Honey, He Bullied Us

My husband, Vincent Adams, used a secret Twitter account to post for help: [Help! My wife's postpartum weight makes her look like a pig. I'm disgusted every time I see her. What should I do?]

I spent the night hanging a banner outside his office: [I never called you useless; how dare you call me fat? Fat can be lost, but useless is a permanent condition!]