Back to the 80s: No Stepping Stone for Scumbag and Cousin

My cousin crawled into the cornfield with a drunk Godfrey Cobb.

To save her own skin, she knocked me out and dumped me there, then called the villagers over to gawk.

I tried to deny it, tried to explain what really happened, but no one believed me.

Instead my parents rushed over and beat me half to death.

My reputation was ruined, and I had no choice but to marry Godfrey Cobb.

Then I watched, helpless, as my cousin took my college acceptance and went off to school in my place.